New Week.... New Weight...?

Okay, I know all of you must be dying of suspense on whether or not my "obsession" so far has amounted to anything. Happily, I would like to report, that this past week was a successful one with 1.8 lbs lost. Great. Amazing. YEAH!

I found this quaint little park a few blocks from my home that has a walking trail around it of an approx. length of 1/3 of a mile. So yesterday, I walked three miles, and today two, but it was only less, because my son refused to fall asleep in the stroller, so by the 6th time around, he was complaining a little too loudly for me, or anyone in the park, to ignore, so we had to head back home a little earlier.

I think a small goal for me this week will be to consume more water. I don't drink enough, and I want to start drinking at least the minimum recommended amount, which is 64 oz. I believe. So hopefully that will at least make my skin more hydrated and healthier looking, though the downside is that I'll have to use the bathroom a whole lot more, which can be so inconvenient at times.

On another note, I was talking to my Dad on the phone today and he was explaining to me a little bit more about the economic crisis that our country's in, and it really made me think about food storage and being prepared as the Prophets have been telling us for years. So, I don't know if any of you are like me, but I've got nothing in the way of food storage, and not much that is really called "savings" as most of the money is to be used for my husband's education or expenses related to that. Thinking about all this and all these things being somehow tied together is making me anxious. I am putting items on my list to include as a food storage of some sort, probably by buying a 20lb bag of flour and rice and some canned goods I might be able to make into something. It's not much, but I think, I definitely need to start somewhere and start NOW.
But, for all you who are keeping track, here's this weeks weigh-in summary:

Beginning Weight 196.4
Today's Weight: 194.6, weight loss: -1.8
Week 2/6 Begining 9/30/2008
Goal: 10 pounds. minus week 1 loss = 8.2 pounds to GOAL

Pres. Uchtdorf's talk and how do I apply it to myself?

I am sure that most of you women out there who read this blog went to the General Relief Society Broadcast last night. As you know, President Uchtdorf spoke on two principles to make us happy. I would like to speak a little about the first one, "create something".

I want to do this really badly, but I haven't quite found my niche in what I find joy in creating. I've tried my hand at scrap booking, and that's okay, but I want to find something that I am really good at, that when I look at the finished product, I feel satisfied.

Most of you might think that music does that for me. Unfortunately, it doesn't. I hear to many imperfections in my voice and "know" too much about all the things that are flawed about it to really find that kind or satisfaction with my own voice. Though, running off that thought, I get alot of satisfaction singing in a choir or ensemble that makes beautiful music, so maybe that's the way to go. Maybe I need to find some people who, like me, like to create beautiful music together. So that's one option.

But, I would like to find out if I have other abilities in creating something that is worthwhile and satisfies me. Any suggestions? What do you all create that gives you this happy, satisfied, complete feeling? How should I get started?

I guess I can also look at "creating" myself a fabulously healthy body, which if you read my previous post, you already know about this goal.

As Pres. Uchtdorf said, the creation doesn't have to be perfect, and it can be as simple as creating laughter in the home, or beautifying a space. I guess the only way to test this all out is to give it a "go" and see if I find just as much happiness in creating something as our Heavenly Father found creating us.

The other aspect of finding peace and happiness that he shared was compassionate service. Actually doing my visiting teaching each month might be a start. What kinds of compassionate service do you do? Maybe getting more involved in my daughters school, or getting to know my neighbors and finding out what their needs are. Or maybe there is a family member who is in need of my service, whether it be babysitting for a few hours, or taking someone to the doctors, or just sitting around and talking and spending some quality time with a family member that seems to be left out. Or maybe its calling the sister that you don't talk to very often (or all of them, for that matter). As you can see, there are lots of things that I can do, but what I need to do, is actual choose one and act on it. I think I'll make it a matter of prayer and see what direction HF wants me to take on all of this.

OH, and P.S. I made a chocolate cake substituting eggs for the eggs substitute stuff, and vegetable oil for applesauce, and you know what? I couldn't taste a difference. Now I just need to find a healthy substitute for frosting... any ideas? In all, I think it wiped off about 80 calories per serving by using the applesauce and egg substitute.

Gabe is enjoying the chocolate cake too.

Gabe Walks

Obsessing about... Weight

One thing that always seems to be hovering around in my mind is the "weight" issue. It's constantly there, nagging and eating away at my self confidence. I know that I no longer have the excuse of "I just had a baby" for the reason why I still have all the extra poundage on my person, so I know that its definitely time to take a more active role in trying to get rid of all that weight that I still carry around.
But losing weight is so psychological and emotional for me, as I am sure it is with most people who want to lose more than 5 pounds. For me, the way I look is connected to the way I feel, and being overweight or not makes up the majority of how I feel about the way I look. The skinniest I have ever been in my adult life has been a size 12 and weighing about 160 pounds. That is still considered overweight for my height and age. But at that size, I felt really good, as in, I felt attractive and cute and active and healthy. Right now, I am squeezing in to my size 16, and weigh (deep breath) 196.4 pounds. So I guess the first step to making things right, is admitting that I have some things "wrong" to work on. So to all of you my friends who read this, this is me opening myself up to scrutiny and criticism, in the attempt to inspire myself to do SOMETHING about it. I am no weight guru, and definitely do not have all the answers, but I am going to attempt to journal my progress, or lack there of on this forum.
Today is week 1, Day 4 of my attempt to get rid of my spare tire. Here's the break down of what I've done or thought about so far.
I bought a little notebook that I write down everything I eat. I am hoping that it will make me a little more self-motivated to not eat so much as I will have to write it down later. The next step will be to become more physically active. This is a little more complicated than I first thought. The original plan was to go for walks in the morning after Jada takes off for kindergarten. But somehow, in the ensuing weeks, this has not happened. I don't know if it would be better to try do do exercise tapes at home, or invest in an elliptical machine or something, so that I can put Gabe in his playpen or while he's taking a nap, get in a few minutes of exercise. The other option is getting a gym membership, but that one is pretty much nullified as I would have to pay or find someone to watch my kids while I went, and I most likely wouldn't get my money's worth out of going to the gym. Yesterday, as I attempted to do one of the exercise tape work outs, every few minutes I had to stop because my son was crying or needed my attention for one reason or another, but I did congratulate myself on making an effort, though I didn't make it through half the tape. I was thinking of it as interval training, but I don't really think "interval" in this sense is stopping to pick up your child.
Tonight after dinner, my family and I went for a walk, and I alternately walked and jogged around the school ground until I made a mile. I felt good afterwards, like I had accomplished something, and it was easy to finish the mile, as my husband was playing with the kids at the playground and it allowed me 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to myself.
So Tuesday is my weigh-in day. I'll journal on Tuesdays to keep y'all posted on my progress. I bought a Weight Watchers scale so that I can keep track of even the slightest drop or gain in weight as it is more precise. (Instead of the scale just reading 196, it says 196.4) I suppose I should have a goal, so I have something more tangible to work towards, so my first goal is to lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks. That's about 1.66 pounds a week to lose.
Beginning Weight 196.4
Week 1/6
Goal: 10 pounds.

Honey Buckets

Okay. I think all of us know what a Honey Bucket is. Those blue, portable toilets, right? Most of us choose to avoid them as much as possible, and "hold it" if at all possible. Well, sometimes, using them are unavoidable...

The other day, I had to run to Costco to pick up a view items for the home. Of course, I had my two kids along with me, so we got there about lunch time, as I had to wait until Jada returned from kindergarten. After our brief shopping experience, Jada wanted to have some lunch, so we got some pizza and sat down at the picnic tables at Costco. I kept Gabe strapped into the cart, and Jada and I ate quickly ate. As we picked up our plates to toss in the garbage, I looked at Gabe and saw that something yellow had exploded up the back of his pants. Absolutely mortified, I rushed the cart, with Gabe and Jada in tow to the big sign that said "restrooms". When I got there, there was a smaller sign that said that due to the expansion of the store, their were "temporary" bathrooms for the patrons to use. I grabbed Gabe from the cart, holding his body away from me to limit the amount of "yellow" explosion from my person as possible. I literally walked outside into a fenced area, and realized that my only options were a blue honey bucket, or a bigger one, that looked like a small trailer, though it still said "honey bucket" on the side. I thought I might have better luck in the trailer, so I headed that way. Unfortunately, luck did not find me there. There was nothing but 3 stalls to choose from, and no baby changing table anywhere in sight. As I squeezed into one of the stalls, quickly thinking to myself, "How the heck am I going to do this?" I locked the door, threw my bag on the ground, and started stripping Gabe out of his clothes and finding a baby wipe to do some preliminary cleaning. I shut the toilet lid and laid his jacket underneath so I could tell myself that I was somewhat avoiding germs I didn't even want to think were on every surface of that toilet stall. So, I cleaned him up, narrowly avoiding my son rolling off the seat, and having him scream the whole time, because, it just wasn't a pleasant experience for either one of us.

Anyway, the only reason why I am sharing this experience is the fact that I don't think people understand how hard even a simple trip to the grocery store can actually be. Things like this happen to me and other mothers like me all the time. It's a complicated, dirty, and disgusting job at times. I know the typical sterotypes of stay-at-home mom's are that they sit around watching soap operas and reading romance novels in between cooking a meal that they pulled out of the freezer, but I am here to say I don't know any mothers like that. In fact, I can say personally, that changing from a full-time professional to being a full-time mommy, that my duties as a mommy are much more time-consuming, I get no breaks, sometimes, I don't even get to use the bathroom. I work overtime everyday, and at the end of the day, I am ready for my bed, and then, when I am sleeping, I wake up a couple times a night to change a diaper, or make a bottle, or comfort my daughter when she's had a nightmare.
Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to discredit my previous work at my other jobs, but I know that being a full-time parent can be taken for granted and looked down upon as not as important, or difficult or demanding as other jobs, but it is. And because of all those things, it is also the most satisfying and rewarding of any job.
Talking to my husband a few weeks back, he asked me if I was "happy". Meaning, am I happy staying home with the kids. I looked at him, and thought about all that I was feeling and said to him, "I finally feel like I am at peace. I am happier than I have ever been, and I know, that this is what I am supposed to do. There is no where else, or nothing else that I would like to be doing."
Even after the honey bucket incident... I still feel this way.

Be all you that you can be.... in the WARD CHOIR

So I am a fan of Ward Choir, no matter what. Having been a ward choir director before, and given the calling to uplift and beautify the sacred Sacrament meeting, there is no excuse good enough for me to miss attending choir practice (well, unless I am out of town or deathly ill, or... dead). So far, in my new ward, the Choir has been rather sparsely put together. About 3 altos, 3 sopranos, and 4 men have been present at choir. I think the numbers make it more of an ensemble, than an actual choir, but no matter. The ward choir director has had to resort to bribes just to get people to show to choir. I think that is humiliating on his part, and shameful on all of the ward choir members who attend just for the free food. But what I have found is that most of the ward members have a list of things that deter them from attending choir. Here's the thing that most people here about ward choir that isn't true.
1. You have to read music (False. You do not have to read music, in fact, ward choir is the perfect place to LEARN this skill)
2. You have to be a _____ (insert one of these adjectives: Good, professional, loud, experienced etc) Singer. (False. Though, it is nice to have a few people who are each of these things, it is also important to have novice, quiet, okay, and yes, even BAD singers in the choir.)
3. You have to know Italian. (False. Though technically alot of the dynamics for music are in fact, Italian, the only person who really needs to know what they all mean is the ward choir director and the accompanist, and they can act as "interpreters" for you.)
4. Ward Choir is boring. (False. It is all about attitude. If you are telling yourself it's going to be boring and a waste of time, then that's what it's going to be for you. If you look at it as a time to learn beautiful church music and get to know more ward members and make friends, you are the time is going to fly by.)
5. You have to sing solos. (False. The choir director will be sensitive to your desires to not do this, and will not make you sing one if you don't want to. )
I could continue making more points about the fallacies of ward choir, but this is really my point: Everyone should be in the ward choir or at least allow and encourage family members to be in it. It should be open to the young and the old, the good and the tone deaf, because in the end, the Lord proclaimed "Make a joyful NOISE". He didn't say "Thou shalt have no other choirs except those who are like unto the Mormon Tabernacle Choir". So don't be in such a rush to get home after church, and drop by your nearest ward choir practice, you'll be glad you did.

ATTENTION ALL YOU JANE AUSTEN FANS!!!

Okay, so the other day, I was browsing the bookshelves at the library (my new hangout) and picked up the book "The Lost Memoirs of Jane Austen" by Syrie James. Though it is a work of fiction, it really felt as if Miss Jane Austen herself were writing the pages. I truly loved it, just as I love "Pride and Prejudice".
I finished the book this morning when I had a moment to myself, and I am glad I did, because I cried like a big baby. I knew at that moment that the book was really good, because it made me forget that it was only fiction, and I truly wept as if Miss Austen actually went through the events described in the book.
Anyway, I must give Mrs. James, the Author of "Memoirs" kudos, because it was her first novel, and I do believe the Miss Austen herself would find the novel a true gem. I am even willing to give it the very distinguished honor of being placed with my Jane Austen collection on my bookshelves.
So, to all of you who love Jane Austen, find this book, and get lost in the imaginary world of what might have been...

Grocery Shopping Fun

I'm sure many of you have been grocery shopping with your children. It's oh-so enjoyable. There's the constant nagging for junk food, or the "This is taking too long, when are we going home" complaining, or the tantrums and crying that usually accompany my grocery shopping experience at some point in time. It even gets worse when you make it a grocery shopping extravaganza and plan to go to 4 or more grocery stores in one day. That is what I spent my whole day doing. Add your husband as the chauffeur, and they day just becomes one of domestic bliss.
I know that the sales are great, especially when you walk away from a store and save 50% on your final purchase (I usually achieve this at Albertson's) It's so great. But sometimes I wonder if the 50% savings is worth a little bit of my sanity being stripped away from me.
I had a dream last night, that I walked into the grocery store, I was all by myself, and it must have been really early in the morning or really late in the evening, as I was the only customer in the store. It was 5 star service, with everyone asking me as I turned into each aisle, "Is there anything I can help you find, ma'am?" It was fabulous. I actually walked through the store at a leisurely pace, reading the backs of labels to make "healthier" choices for my family. The store clerks smiled and I had a sparkle in my eye as I enjoyed the service and attention that I don't normally receive during my "reality" shopping experiences.
Now that I come to think of this, maybe this dream was more a revelation, and I will plan all my shopping experiences either early in the morning before my family wakes, or late at night after I have put them in bed. That might be the only way for me to actually enjoy the fact that I spent $153.00, but saved $130.oo. But even if my solitary shopping wish doesn't come true, let's face it, I'll probably go through the same experience next month for such great savings.

On-line at the library

I gotta make this quick, as my timer keeps ticking to let me know just how much of an hour I have to write this blog. It's stressful having a time limit on my computer usage ( I only get 2 hours a day). But what's really stressful is trying to use the computer when your 9 month old and 5 and-a-half year old are accompanying you. Normally, my timing is a little better, but today is absolutely the worst! Gabriel refused to fall asleep on the way over, and he has continued to try to get every patron of the library to give us the "evil eye". You know, the "why is that mother here in a library with a baby? UGH, can't she just leave?! She's interrupting my thoughts as I try to find out what's the latest with Britany Spears!" He's also throwing his Binky, spitting his cheerios out and refusing a bottle. Just at that moment, a librarian approaches me, and I had this sinking feeling he was going to ask us to leave, but to my surprise he said, " Would you like to use a laptop? It will probably be easier to manoeuvre with a baby." With a grateful sigh, I said "YES". So now, I am sitting on a couch in the children's section, feeling somewhat better even though my kids are continuing to make noise and even pull some books off the shelves, but in THAT section, it seems to be okay, and somewhat expected.
Since we moved to Shoreline, the only Internet access I have is at my local library. I walk there almost everyday when Jada returns from Kindergarten. It's a great library. I remember how much I used to love the library when I was a kid, and back then, it didn't have any computers. In fact, to find a book, you still had to use a card catalog. So, when I write on my blog, it's most likely going to be from the library.
Now that I have had the above experience, at least now I know to ask for a lap top computer when I first enter the doors, and save myself the embarrassment of 50 different pairs of eyes willing me and my "attachments" to burst into flames.

My Letter to Stephenie Meyer

This letter has been brewing in my mind for the last week, and since Stephenie doesn't read fanmail anymore, I decided to publish it here. Who knows, maybe she'll read it someday.....

Dear Ms. Meyer,

I don't usually do this. In fact, I have never done this before, but somehow I feel compelled to write you a letter.

I came across you in a very intersting way. When I was living in Fiji last year, I was checking my friend's myspace site when I noticed her headline read "Where's my Edward Cullen?". Being intrigued, I read that he was a character in you book Twilight. Being an avid reader myself, I decided to go to your website and get the scoop on why my friend would have that strange headline. There I found information on you series "Twilight". As I read, I saw that there was a PDF file for the first chapter of "Midnight Sun". That was my first taste of the wonderful fantasy world that you created with Bella and Edward. From that moment, I couldn't wait to get a hold of your series and read it.

Now, let me get to the point. And it's not to beg you to finish "Midnight Sun" but to say how sorry I am about how your rights were violated like that with it's illegal publication on the internet. I really don't even have words to express how truly sorry I feel about the whole thing.

Finally, I just wanted to say "thank you". I haven't enjoyed a book or a series as much as Twilight, ever. You even inspired me to read "Wuthering Heights" and that is a great accomplishment, because I loathe the Bronte sisters ( I am more of a Jane Austen girl). You have definitely grabbed my attention, and have earned a permanent place on my bookshelves.

Sincerely,

Katrina

Brand New Day

Okay, I have succumbed to the temptation to add my thoughts to the world wide web and let them float around in cyber-space by creating my own personal blog. Not that anyone will read it, but here's a fair warning: it's probably not going to be any good. So don't get your hopes up, I probably will not be diverting your attention for too long, though it will be therapeutic for me, I am sure.
I feel like I need some sort of sign-off, like the prime time news anchors do at the end of their shows... the hardest part of writing a journal or some personal thoughts down for me, is how the hades do I say "I'm done" without it feeling so abrupt? Anyone have any ideas?

Yours,
Katrina